Daffodil Diaries - Sandra Moore

“This is going to sound mad, but in December 2005, I had a dream I had breast cancer. After that, I checked myself and I found a small lump."

Just two days after her 45^th birthday, Sandra Moore, mother of four, was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2006. 

“This is going to sound mad, but in December 2005, I had a dream I had breast cancer. After that, I checked myself and I found a small lump. I waited a week or two to see if it went away but then got it looked at. My GP was brilliant, and referred me straight away, but it took a few weeks for the appointment. I remember being in total shock when I got my diagnosis. It was really difficult to come to terms with”.

For her treatment in 2006, after a lumpectomy, Sandra underwent six weeks of radiotherapy. “It was Monday to Friday for six weeks. It was very difficult. It was like my skin was severely sunburned. I decimated an aloe vera plant to use the gel to soothe the pain. After the radiotherapy, the medical team were satisfied the cancer was adequately dealt with and we opted not to go for chemotherapy, as my tumour was literally a hair’s thickness smaller than the recommendation for chemotherapy. You have to remember that with treatment back then chemo wasn’t targeted as it is now, it hit the whole body.”

“I was in remission for four and a half years but then in September 2010, my cancer came back. That was devastating."

“Around this time, I had an acquaintance where I live, who was a nurse, telling me that the reason I had breast cancer was because I had my last child late in years. I was forty-three. This was very upsetting for me to hear, and it was almost as if I was being told I caused my cancer. I was also constantly asked whether I had breastfed my children, which I had.”

“I was in remission for four and a half years but then in September 2010, my cancer came back. That was devastating. They had more information now and told me it was lobular breast cancer. Because of the cancer type, the risk of recurrence was 65%-75% so we decided not to go down the surgery route. I was put on a treatment programme of tablets every day and injections into my stomach every three months. This went on for years to keep the cancer at bay and by 2017, it looked as though that tumour had disappeared, but then they found another one. In 2019, I was told it had spread to my neck, so this time, it was a metastatic diagnosis.”

While Sandra is in a much better place now, hearing that metastatic cancer, while treatable, was not curable, was very difficult to come to terms with. “Knowing that I will be on this treatment for the rest of my life is difficult. You’re never going to get rid of it. There was a lot going on in my life at that time. My parents weren’t well and there was a lot of pressure and then this on top of it. Looking back, there were some supports out there but I found it difficult to access them. I was a stay-at-home mum, my energy was low and where we lived in Meath, things were a bit far away for me to get to and get back for the school runs and so on. I had a bit of a breakdown and was saying I wanted to stop all my treatment, but the hospital referred me to the Palliative Care Team, who really helped me.”

“It took me time to accept this. I did have a minor breakdown in 2016, where I felt what was the point of going on, but with the help of my husband, Alan, and some counselling I pulled through."

Sandra is sharing her story to raise awareness of her type of breast cancer, lobular breast cancer. “Its presentation is different to other breast cancers. It presents as almost a spider-web that goes around the woman’s breast, not a single tumour, so it can be very difficult to detect through a mammogram.  Mammograms are good, but if a woman has dense breast tissue, lobular cancer will not be picked up early. It has been described to me as looking for snow in a snowstorm. So I believe that women should be told this, and the HSE has a responsibility to inform women. It’s a win–win situation if they do so; women who are affected get earlier treatment, with an improved survival rate, and the HSE saves money because the treatment is cheaper.”

“I also want to raise awareness about the need for the health system to take a wider, more holistic view of a person’s health. I was diagnosed with hemochromatosis in 2007 and for people like me with overlapping health issues, there doesn’t seem to be any joined-up thinking at times, especially when it comes to things like routine blood tests. When I speak to my oncology team, they tell me I need to go and make separate blood test appointments for my hemochromatosis. Not only does it put the patient under more pressure, but it also costs the state more money for an unnecessary second blood test. I am building up scar tissue where I get the blood tests. That’s something quite specific to me, but I know from chatting to other people living with cancer that others also experience this, and it’s something we could do better to simplify matters for patients.”

Reflecting on her cancer experience Sandra says there is more to life than just her cancer diagnosis. “It took me time to accept this.  I did have a minor breakdown in 2016, where I felt what was the point of going on, but with the help of my husband, Alan, and some counselling I pulled through. I still have bad days, but nowhere near as bad as then. You can have a good quality of life living with metastatic cancer. I do more things for me now. I spend time with my adult children and keep in touch with the ones who are abroad. Just before Christmas in 2024, we travelled to Perth for six weeks for our son’s wedding. I’ve a daughter in Beijing and another two daughters are home here in Ireland. You don’t forget about your cancer. I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning knowing I have cancer, but I try to put it aside and still have the craic.”

P.S. My husband is still hoping that I dream about winning lotto numbers!