Daffodil Diaries - Paul Ryan

“The supports they offer would have been really beneficial to me at the beginning of my cancer journey, but I’m still on that journey and I take great comfort knowing that these supports are going to be in place.”

In late 2021, then 45 year-old father of two, Paul Ryan, began to experience difficulty in swallowing food. “I developed a severe pain down my throat and food pipe over October/November, and I remember vividly Christmas Eve night preparing Rudolph’s carrot, that I had a very difficult time swallowing food then. 

My wife at that point became quite concerned and it was then when I realised it was a bit more serious and wasn’t just one of those things that was going to go away.”

In early January, Paul went to a local doctor and was referred to Portlaoise Hospital. A prescription for buscopan helped initially, but his difficulty in swallowing got worse and by March, he was referred to Tullamore Hospital. “I was really struggling to eat anything. I couldn’t eat scrambled egg or soft Weetabix without being in pain. It wasn’t clear what was wrong– something wasn’t right, but it could have been any one of a hundred issues. I didn’t go Googling what was wrong, I left it to the medical professionals to tell me. After an endoscope in Tullamore, I was referred to James’s. Of course, I knew that things were getting more serious, but nobody had mentioned the word ‘cancer’ to me. 

The first I heard of cancer was in my first consultation in James’s where the doctor said, ‘right, here’s how we’re going to treat this cancer’ – in some ways, the diagnosis being dropped on me like that was good, because I didn’t really have time to be upset or worried. It was just onto the next thing and asking about treatment. My wife was with me and really, in that moment, I wasn’t thinking of me, I was thinking of her and the girls and how we’re going to get through this.”

“I was really struggling to eat anything. I couldn’t eat scrambled egg or soft Weetabix without being in pain."

Following more tests and scans, Paul’s diagnosis for osephageal cancer was confirmed and he began treatment in April 2022. “My treatment was quite intense – initially it was 5 weeks of radiotherapy combined with chemotherapy. 5 days a week of radio and then chemo every Tuesday. I coped fine at the start but ended up losing weight to a frightening level. I went from my normal weight of 115kg down to around 60kg. After the May Bank Holiday weekend, my brother was driving me back up for treatment and I took a gulp of water in the car. It was too painful to swallow and I was too weak to spit it back up – I remember getting him to pull in at the side of the road and I got sick. People driving by were beeping assuming I was worse for wear after a weekend of drinking – little did they know what was actually going on but it made us laugh in that moment.”

Once through his treatment, and after a period of recovery where he gained weight, Paul underwent 8-hour surgery on the 24^th of June 2022. “The surgery was really tough and it took me a while, probably into August before I felt back to myself again. We got clear scans after the surgery and I was told I’d be called back in six months’ time for a follow up. Unfortunately, in early 2023 at my six-month check up, I was told my cancer had spread and I’d need more treatment. This was very difficult for us and at this point, we decided to tell the girls. They were only 3 and 5 when I went through treatment in 2022, so we could keep it from them a bit easier, but they were getting older now. I’m amazed at just how resilient they are and how much support they give me.”

“I remember there was one incident where my children came home from school very upset. They had been told by classmates ‘your daddy is dying’ and as you can imagine, that was hugely upsetting for them. It was also very difficult for me and my wife because we hadn’t discussed any of that with them and we were thrown into having that discussion with young children.

In hindsight, Paul says he wished he had known more earlier on in his diagnosis about the supports that are available for younger patients going through cancer.

I think it’s so important for people to realise their talk at home is heard by their children and that it can get back to the family impacted by cancer. People need to be kinder about how they talk about cancer not just to the person’s face, but at home too. Throughout my cancer experience, I can’t thank my whole family and my good friends enough for their support – you really find out who the important people in your life are when you go through something like this.”

In hindsight, Paul says he wished he had known more earlier on in his diagnosis about the supports that are available for younger patients going through cancer. “As a man in my 40s, working, young children, a wife and so much to live for, going through cancer can throw up a lot of difficulties outside what you’re going through medically in terms of your treatment. Financially, we have found it quite difficult and we needed the support of the medical social worker to get our medical card application over the line. For me and my family going through cancer, the Young Onset Programme delivered by the Trinity St. James Cancer Institute, funded by the Irish Cancer Society, is exactly the type of wraparound supports people like me need. It is brilliant that it’s getting up and running. The supports they offer would have been really beneficial to me at the beginning of my cancer journey, but I’m still on that journey and I take great comfort knowing that these supports are going to be in place.”

Paul and his wife want to raise awareness of the impact cancer has across the whole family, not just the patient. “All throughout this cancer experience, I have done my very best to keep myself in a positive mindset”, says Paul. “From the very start, I knew there would be dark days, but there’d also be good days. I think of travelling to Disneyland Paris for my daughter competing in an Irish dancing competition as one of the great experiences and being able to do that even though I am living with cancer. While I haven’t used free supports such as counselling, my wife Christine has used those services and found them very helpful. That’s something I think needs to be understood when it comes to a family like mine going through cancer, it’s not just about the patient, it touches the whole family and has a huge impact. That is why I think it is just so important that the supports that are being developed by the Trinity St. James’s Cancer Institute and the Irish Cancer Society are put in place.”