Daffodil Diaries - Laura Williams

“I want people to know that there are services out there for them. There is so much help out there for people going through or supporting people with cancer.”

Laura Williams, 24, from Kilmallock in Limerick, lost her mother Emer to breast cancer in January 2021. Emer was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009, when Laura was in primary school.

“I was seven so it was kind of kept away from me,” says Laura. “But I remember my mum being in and out of hospital a lot, getting chemo. She had a lumpectomy and had to have chemo and radiotherapy.

“I remember her getting the all-clear in 2010, and we were all over the moon. My dad’s mum had passed away from breast cancer when he was 22, so dad was over the moon when mum got the all-clear, because he was expecting the worst."

“It took her a while, but she went back to work as a special needs nurse. She loved looking after kids and adults with disabilities and would always go above and beyond for them. Those eight years between 2010 and 2018 were some of the best years we had.”

In the summer of 2018, Emer developed a persistent and unexplained cough. The first time she went to her GP, she was diagnosed with a chest infection and prescribed antibiotics, but her condition didn’t improve.

“Mum was very involved in the World Meeting of Families which took place that August, she organised events in Limerick for it,” says Laura. “We went down to Dublin for the main event, and on the morning we were due to go to Dublin, she woke up with no voice."

“So we went to Dublin, she went to a doctor there and they told her she had laryngitis."

“A week or two later, she went back to her GP in Limerick. They sent her to hospital for a chest X-ray, and it showed a nodule on her lung. They sent her for a more detailed CT scan, and that showed 20 nodules of cancer on her lungs. It was breast cancer that had spread to her lungs.”

This was in October 2018, and Laura was in Transition Year at the time. She remembers the moment when her dad delivered the news of her mum’s diagnosis to her.

“I knew something was wrong, so I just said, ‘How’s Mum?’. He started crying and told me the news. I started screaming my head off, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I was really shocked by it all. I remember him telling me it was terminal, and I cried my eyes out. I remember saying, ‘This can’t be happening’.”

Emer started chemotherapy in November 2018. Her birthday was the following month, and her family and friends held a series of surprise parties and events to mark the occasion.

“I said to my dad that we needed to do something special for her because we didn’t know how long we’d get with her,” adds Laura.

By 2019, Emer was still receiving chemotherapy and going for regular scans.

“She was still having chemo, but we knew it couldn’t cure her,” says Laura. “She had a chest X-ray after six months of chemo, and it showed that her tumours had shrunk, so she was put on oral chemo."

“At this point, she was still living with no voice. An X-ray showed that there was a nodule on her voice box, and that’s why she’d lost her voice.

“In October 2019, Mum and Dad had been gifted a trip to Medjugorje and by the end of it, Mum called me – her voice was back. The people on the trip with my parents had been praying for my mum, and we have a very strong faith. It was a miracle.”

Around the same time, Emer was asked to take part in a calendar to raise money for Mid-Western Cancer Foundation.

“Mum originally said no to posing for the calendar,” says Laura, “as it was totally out of her comfort zone. Mum was a quiet person, who read at Sunday Mass regularly and always wore a one-piece bathing suit, as she wouldn’t be comfortable in a bikini.

“However, Mum told the organiser, if she was really stuck, to come back to her. The organiser did, so Mum took part. In the end, she was delighted to have done this project. It was a great success as they raised a lot of money, even needing a second print run. She also made lots of lifelong friends who were fantastic support to each other. “

The Williams family continued to make memories with Emer, including going on their last family holiday to France with her in 2019. In 2020, as the pandemic lockdown began, the family stayed close to each other.

“Mum tried to carry on living life to the fullest, but it was hard when Covid hit. She had to stop working because she was at risk of developing Covid. But it also meant that we were able to spend so much time together as a family, as one unit, and it was really nice for us to have that time together.”

Emer’s condition started to decline in late 2020, when she began to experience pain and it was discovered that the cancer had spread to her liver.

“We could tell when she started to go downhill towards the end of 2020, but we didn’t expect her death to happen so fast,” recalls Laura.

“We found out the oral chemo wasn’t working for her, and the cancer was spreading. In early January 2021, she went to hospital, and we were hoping she’d get a new treatment plan.

“Mum had to go in on her own because of the Covid rules; she was told the cancer had spread throughout her body and there was nothing they could do. She was told she had up to 12 weeks left.

“Mum passed away 20 days after that. Those three weeks were really hard, but she was so strong through it all. She had a wishlist of what she wanted, and she wanted to die at home.”

With the help of her local community palliative care team, Emer’s wish to die at home was fulfilled and she passed away on the 25^th of January 2021. She passed away with her husband John, daughter Laura and sister Muirne by her side.

“Mum got to pass away at home, and her sister – she’s an incredible singer – sang ‘Be Not Afraid’ and ‘I Watch the Sunrise’. Mum took her last breath during the last line of ‘Be Not Afraid’. It was so peaceful.”

Since Emer passed away, both her sister and mother have been diagnosed with breast cancer but are now doing well. Laura is sharing her family’s experience to highlight that there are services out there for people affected by cancer, and to help others who may be struggling with the loss of a loved one.

“The grief is really hard,” says Laura. “You don’t get over it, but you learn to deal with it, day by day. It’s so important to let your family know you love them, because you never know what could happen.”